R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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