the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Randomize
