Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
