are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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