Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
