honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
