Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
