I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
