I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
