Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
We need a shit load of segways right now
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize