Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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