Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
