can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
my liver is dry heaving
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
