I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
