You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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