i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
