she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
