His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize