I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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