me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize