She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
the liver wants what the liver wants
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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