so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
