YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
someone owes me an orgasm
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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