About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
