I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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