it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
