wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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