OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
