I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'm at about main and main street
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
