We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
