And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize