he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
