Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
