Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
