8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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