well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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