so that wasnt chicken after all
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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