ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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