no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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