I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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