marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Randomize
