I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
im having a threesome with these popsicles
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
