wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Randomize
