we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
