At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
We were destined to go to rehab together
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
