TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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