so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
