i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You dont lie about slip and slides
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize