bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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