he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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