I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
