we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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