and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
