I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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