I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I could fuck to npr.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
