My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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