Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
