People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Less talking, more tequila
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
