how can u be prego again
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
