After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
It's blow job season.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize