Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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