You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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