Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
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