omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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