he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
