Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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