Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
