The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
So vagazzling was a success
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
