Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
