I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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