Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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