omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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