so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
My vagina just recognized that song.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
